I was intrigued yesterday to see a recipe for a shed beer fridge in Allotment Growing Diary Plus, and as it’s my birthday today I thought it was a fine excuse for enjoying cold beer on the plot.

The idea is that the terracotta pot cools following evaporation of the absorbed water.

It certainly seemed to work, within an hour the pot was very cool but I made the mistake of starting with warm beer. I was too impatient to wait for the full process had to make do with coolish, luke warm beer.

I’ve left a couple of beers in there and topped the tray up before I left so we’ll see how long it works for. Maybe there will be an icy beer waiting for me after work tomorrow.

And here’s a gratuitous flower picture. I’m so happy with these dahlias, I grew them from seed and never imagined they’d be so successful.

Thanks for all the graffiti advice in the comments to the last post.

I took the train to the plot at the weekend and discovered that every single flat surface (mostly sheds) facing the platform had been scrawled over with the silver spray paint. It looked a bit grim and so I decided that the shed should be re-painted. It will probably take a few coats as the spray paint is heavy duty stuff, but as I had to go out and buy a new tub of paint, I have plenty to go around.

They can come back as often as they like now, I’ll be ready for em.

They didn’t cause any more damage by the way - all my crops were left intact which is a blessing.

I picked up my new Brompton from the fantastic Wizz Bike this evening and went straight to the plot to photograph the new machine in amongst the potatoes.
The foliage just sets the colours off!

I was surprised to find that the beans are ready to start cropping, I had a trangia full of Borlotta and runner beans for my tea, shamefully mixed with a packet of curry flavoured supernoodles.

I’ve given up on my first earlies for now, the slugs had their wicked way with the foliage and as a result hindered the tuber growth to pea sized proportions.

All the other spuds appear to be getting back handers of performance enhancing drugs though so today I decided to start whipping them out.

I dug two plants, one Maris Peer and another Kerr’s Pink. Both were pretty productive although the Kerr’s pink had loads of tiny little spuds with loads more room to expand. I’m going to be over run with these things in a few weeks so its a good plan to start on them early.

I took them straight from the ground to the trangia so I could carry out an immediate taste comparison. I don’t have any salt in the plot but I do have mint and the result was perfect.

Kerr’s Pink are supposed to be very floury but as an early spud, boiled young, they held together very well and were delicious. Boiled up like this they will encourage me to head to the plot for my dinner more often. Not very varied perhaps but I finished them off with strawberries and raspberries, delicious.

There was a bit of a water crisis on the site last weekend, a huge leak had been discovered in one of the pipes and a rumour spread suggesting we were going to be without running water forever. Even though it seemed to have been sorted out on my half of the site by the next morning, it acted as a trigger for me to start a water conservation project. I acquired a water butt from freecycle and the weekend was scheduled to create a shed, butt and guttering ensemble.

How long could it take to install a single span of guttering? To give the game away right from the start, it took me 3 hours and as I left the guttering was propped up on the inside of the shed, thereby serving absolutely no use whatsoever. Perhaps a few more hours tomorrow will see the task complete.

I started by siting the butt at the back of the shed, leveling the ground and preparing a raised support, then I had to repeat the whole process at the other side of the shed as someone had seen fit to install a flippin birdbox slap in the middle of my guttering route. I intended to put the gutter with a slight downward slope so that the water just trickles into the butt without the need for fancy attachments and downpipes but my first attempt failed at the first hurdle - the roof overhang went beyond my guttering and the rain just slipped over the edge.

Batons were sourced and cut to force the guttering out beyond the overhang but then I had a problem with my screws - too short - too long - the usual. I got a bit knarked and started hammering the screws and a few nails until walloped my finger with a direct blow. I wanted to hop, scream and swear like a lunatic but an audience had assembled on the overlooking platform. I had to smile and take cover in the shed until I could cope with the throbbing finger. It also gave me the opportunity to retrieve all the items scattered on the floor after my banging frenzy.

I regained my composure and finished the job off, slid the guttering into the brackets and went in search of some water to test the trajectory. Still with an audience I poured a bottle of water into the middle of the guttering only to be welcomed with a splattering sound at the wrong end - someone installed the shed on a flipping slope. You just can’t get the workmen these days!

Off to Homebase again to buy an end piece for the guttering so that the water gets directed back in the right direction. Guttering apparently works with some impossible connection that took 3 beefy guys from the customer service section to be able to break into. I was sent off with the suggestion that I loosen up the rubber with some hot water and washing up liquid. I needed a cuppa tea anyway so just chucked the end piece into some boiling water on the trangia. When I remembered to fish it out again it looked a little on the overcooked side and rather twisted out of shape. No hope that it would fit on the end in the designed fashion. Not to be outdone I opened up my tub of bitumen and smeared great dollops around both ends of the pipe. So now its propped inside the shed, hopefully drying into super sturdy water proof seal. We’ll see tomorrow.

Although I am clearly the worlds worst DIY’er I can console myself with being probably the worlds best cabbage grower. I dug up one of my monsters today and had to utilise the bike trailer to get it home.

I’m sure Norris McWhirter would be interested in this photo.

A virus of some sort is doing the rounds of my body at the moment so I’m not fit for much, but it’s hard to let the weekend go by without a trip to the lotty. It’s been so windy recently that I needed to see how the uncovered broad beans were doing and water the sweet pea seedlings.

I dragged my aching limbs down to the plot and on arrival promptly collapsed on my shed stool. Some time later I went to check on the beans. Assorted buckets from goodness knows where were wind strewn across my plot but thankfully the beans seemed to be holding themselves together.

I was pleased to see a huge bee moving hurriedly from flower to flower as well, good job I removed the fleece or those flowers may never have set.

The only other thing I managed to do was to fill a few rows of modules with potting compost and assorted exotic seed: sweet peppers, chilli peppers, mixed lettuce, basil and a couple of dahlia types scrounged from a Bridlington allotment.

These have been packed off to live in Shakti’s flat as well, I’m doing my best to convert her place into a nursery.

I gave myself a day off the running so I could enjoy another leisurely session on the plot. I carried on where I left off yesterday and weeded most of the remaining beds. The peas are getting a bit lanky as well so I stuck some titchy sticks in to keep them on the straight and narrow til the weather becomes more stable and I can remove the mesh cover. There were quite a few empty stations where the peas either didn’t germinate or were swiped by meeces so I popped in a few spare seeds, hopefully they’ll come along soon enough and pad out the row.

Before I came down to the allotment this morning, I passed by Shakti’s for breakfast. She posed the question “If we ran out of money tomorrow, what would we live off from your plot?” About 3 months ago she sowed the pea seeds that I supported above and can’t quite believe that we aren’t eating fresh garden peas yet. I don’t thinks she’s altogether too impressed with the DIY food malarkey, life is just a little more instantaneous down at Tescos.

On arrival I surveyed the crops with a hungry mind but was somewhat disillusioned. I think the only currently edible produce is cabbage and some other critter already seems to have eaten way more than I will ever get to enjoy. Don’t these look like a pitiful bunch?

So in answer to the question, I think we would survive for about a week on limp cabbage leaf. Life would then get tough unless I could find an inspiring recipe for roasted bind weed and couch grass roots. I’ve got enough of those to keep us cooking on gas til the peas start cropping!

More seeds went in today as well, I’ve sown half a row of carrots - early nantes that came free with “Grow It” magazine and a full row of parsnips. Both have gone in the space I cleared yesterday by removing the salad leaves.

I’ve also started a batch of aubergine and tomato seeds in individual modules. My flat is no go zone for anything green, within 24 hrs every living form of plant life collapses in an irradiated heap. Quite concerning but I seem to cope unscathed. Anyway, the seeds need to live somewhere warmer and brighter than the shed, but safer than my flat so I’ve sent them to germinate at Shakti’s house. She accepted them willingly so I’ll see what other delicate little seedlings I can pass into her care. She’ll soon discover the joys of DIY food growing.

London woke to a pretty dreary and overcast day this morning. Not the most inspiring of days and it seemed to push me into the dumps as I arrived at the plot. I haven’t been keeping my eye on the allotment stores recently, the shed was clean out of digestives and my cup of tea just wasn’t as revitalising as usual.

I wandered round the garden sipping tea and imagining the future, a day of the triffids style future where the weeds grow to 6 foot and throttle you as you reach hopelessly for the hoe.

If I’m sweating with dread in February just imagine when the growth really starts to kick off. You have to pull yourself together when the weeds on your plot start to give you daytime terrors. I put the cup down, stopped stressing about the future and just knuckled down to the here and now.

I like gardening, it never fails to ground you.

First strike today went to the old rocket and spicy salad leaves bed. The rocket has been a super provider but has now past its best and the spicy leaves are so overrun with nettle plants that my salads have a tendency to give far more bite than is healthy. Both were whipped out at the roots and plonked in the compost bin. First tidy patch sorted and I have space for something new now.

My early planting of broad beans have been very successful, maybe even too successful? They have been pushing at the top of my fleece cloche for a few weeks now and bending at the tips. Today I decided it was time to expose them to the elements and whipped of their toasty covering.

Most of them are flowering so hopefully they wont be traumatized by any more frosts. I spent about an hour tying myself in knots with about 100m worth of twine, fashioning a cats cradle support. There is very little wind protection in that particular spot and the beans are effectively trying to stand tall in a wind tunnel.

Carried away with the weeding, I whipped off more of the cloches and cleaned around the chard and cabbages.

Everything started to look beautiful again, I began to smile and contemplate my next cuppa and a future decidly more rosy and bountiful than it seemed when I started.

I finished by planting my first row of spuds! How ridiculously early is that? The traditional date for planting potatoes is Good Friday which this year is particularly early anyway so I’m not sure what possessed to me to anticipate the great day by about a month.

I’ll do my best to keep them cosy and earthed up til summer arrives.

Oh and did I mention that my sweet peas have germinated? What a glorious and uplifting day its been.

Another glorious weekend and I managed to sneak two full days on the plot. I was supposed to be out on my long run on Sunday afternoon but I’m finding it increasingly hard to drag myself away from the shed. With weather like this I can stretch out on my bench with my feet on a sack of manure, my back leaning gently against my peach and my face basking in the sun.

No sun bathing for these coy little beauties, they spend their entire lives looking at the ground, I wonder what made them so shy.

It wasn’t a completely lazy weekend, I spent most of the time digging and now there’s only a small strip left to go before the entire plot will have been given the once over.

I also prepared a seed bed. I really don’t know why I keep being attracted towards construction jobs, I must be the worlds worst DIY’er. I gathered my scrap planks, chopped to them to size and then nailed them together into a frame of sorts before knocking it and the stakes into the freshly dug ground. As soon as I took the hammer to the stakes the whole frame decided to blow apart. 30 bent nails later I managed to get it to stay together for long enough to step away from the disaster area.

I intend to use it as a stale seed bed for starting off my cabbage and leek plants. I’m not sure how well it well it will do as the shed casts quite a shadow and it only really catches the sun from about 1pm onwards but we’ll see.

My neighbour gave me a good bag of jerusalem artichokes to take home with me. I don’t think I will bother growing any, what a flipping faff they are to peel! I made a carrot and JA soup which was ok but not special enough to repeat, I’ll try roasting the few I have left and see if this leads to any sort of culinary epiphany.